So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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