You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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