I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
