Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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