the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
