omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
