She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
