My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
