Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
