he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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