she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
