she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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