Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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