Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
