Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
