let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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