Umm I'm too high to move.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
