Sry I called you an 8
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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