Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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