I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.