i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
