Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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