Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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