she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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