stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Even my vagina gasped.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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