The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
NoShamevember. You game?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
