My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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