There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize