I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
