Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
