Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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