Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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