I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize