When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
