I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
