I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize