Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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