talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
