just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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