it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
