I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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