Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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