on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
