So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
