direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
