He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
