We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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