that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
