please come you make the beer taste better
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
