Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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