You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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