i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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