Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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