i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
