so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
