This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
