yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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